Sometimes I go through these periods of insecurity. Today I had a period like that. I had a long day at school, where I got things wrong and all, and was really wondering how I could get it all in my head and if I ever would be able to pass my exams in the final year. I had a discussion on the way back in the car about talents and skills.
I always admire persons who have a clear visible talent or skill, like a great painter, a brilliant composer, a passionate dancer or musician, someone who is great at their job, like my husband is. Or some teachers at school.
I like to give others compliments on how great they are doing, I usually see the talents and skills in other people, even in animals. But I am not so good at it towards myself. I don’t feel I have a clear talent or skill. I know about a lot of things but not in-depth. Maybe it is because I am interested in soooo many things that I now know about a lot of things a little, and can do a lot of things a little. But I am not a real star at anything. At least I don’t think so.
But what if my talents and skills are not the ones that are very visible. I do often know how people are feeling, how animals are feeling. I think I am a great listener. There are some skills I want and need to develop, because we no longer know how to use them. Like healing energetically, reading energy fields, communicating with animals and plants. A lot of those have to do with instincts and feelings, rather than with rational learning. But that is what we learn, how important it is to learn with our heads. To get good grades in school, to get diploma’s so you can be someone in life. The talents and skills I think I have are hard to put into grades. I don’t get to do exams in reading what’s wrong with an animal, I can’t get a diploma in animal healing energetically.
So I got home and started thinking about that further. I remembered a day I spent with my dear friends Grace and Mariet not so long ago, when we also talked about things like this. How I admired what Grace did and Mariet, and how I had the feeling I couldn’t do anything like that ever. How Grace then told me she admired some of the things I did. I am always looking for people to compliment me, to see my talents, to leave positive comments on my blogs 😉 Always wanting the approval from others, but really, in the end it is all me.
There are a lot of things I still want to explore and do. And I am the only one that can take the steps needed to actually do them. Who knows what I will (re-)discover about myself 🙂 I just have to step out of my comfort-zone and get out there…. And for me that is a huge step…. But realising this is a first step for me 🙂
Let them trials begin!