Happiness?

Happy Cheyenne

I already fell off the bandwagon with my goal to write a blog every Wednesday and Friday. And that is ok. I am an intuitive writer and to be honest, planning does not fit in with being intuitive. Inspiration for me comes when it comes. Also, when I am tired I don’t feel inspired. And I have been a bit tired this last week.

But today I had a day off, where I spent resting, doing some chores around the house, some walking, took my cat Toendra out for a short walk while we still can. Just chilling.

While I was outside with Toendra, I felt inspired. When I saw her being in the moment and not looking sick at all, it started flowing.

Yesterday I listened to a podcast on happiness. The podcast was by Viva La Dirt League, three guys from New Zealand that I have been following for a few years now. They make short skits about the non-logic in videogames (and D&D), and they are so funny! They have made me laugh many times when I needed it. And I know they care about mental health, as one or more of them have been struggling with that themselves. In the podcast they were exploring what happiness means for them.

Yes, happiness. Interesting concept. Such a difficult thing to grasp, so fleeting. We all spend most of our lives searching for happiness. We look for it in others, in nature, in pets, in work, in hobbies, music, religion and more. But can we find it there? Should we not go inside to find it?

I do not believe a state of happiness is something we can be in all of the time. No matter how hard we try. No matter how much mindfulness and meditation and praying. Because life happens. Loss happens. And we often can’t control the things that throw us off track. We are not asking to get sick, get cheated on, loose a loved one, get fired. We are not asking for war, or being discriminated, abused. No matter what some people might say. We are not asking for it, at least not consciously.

I have spent many hours on manifesting happiness, I did all the work, spent hours journaling, meditating, reading, visualising and more. And even though I have manifested some things for sure, I often felt I was somehow better at manifesting bad things in my life. And with that I was labeling things as good or bad.

But the last few years I have been realising that a lot of this work is based on spiritual bypassing, on denying the dark sides of life. And how with labeling something as light or dark, good or bad, we basically set ourselves up for failure in our pursuit of happiness anyway.

I realised that we need both, for without darkness we would not be able to know light. Without loss we would not now love. Without heartbreak we would not now happiness.

It is about embracing it all. And realising happiness is not something to achieve. We live in a goal based society, so happiness has become another goal to achieve. No, happiness is an experience. Happiness is found in the little things, in experiences, in connections. I can experience those pockets of happiness. This feeling I sometimes get when I am out in nature and my heart just swells up for no reason. When after a few gloomy days filled with rain, the rays of the sun peeking through the dark clouds just make me smile. Give me a feeling of hope. That things will work out, no matter what. When the first flowers appear as a forebode for spring.

I often experienced these pockets of happiness when I was in the UK, on top of that Tor, when I first saw one of the lakes in the Lake District. I felt them during music festivals and concerts. I felt them with exercising, dancing, listening to music. I felt them in connections with others.

But most of all I felt them when connecting to animals. With my dogs, my cats, rabbits, guinea pigs, birds, mice, fish. And with wild animals, even captive animals. When there is just you and the animal and somehow everything else around gets blurred. Animals don’t judge, and they live in the here and now. They do not dwell in the past or worry about the future. They do feel love and emotions, just like us, I am sure about that. Maybe they have mastered a state of happiness. Even the animals that we treat badly still have hope. Never give up. I still believe we can learn so much from them.

That being said, we are animals too, and we are social animals. I do prefer to be on my own from time to time, but that has to do with my high sensitive nature. But I equally like spending time with others, especially when there is some form of likemindedness. Magic happens when you share experiences, when you open up, when you can have long conversations about things that matter. When you share a song together and a dance. A heartfelt hug. And even though I am still healing on the connecting to others department, I am starting to enjoy it again.

Happiness happens when you least expect it. Happiness is in the here and now. And if we cherish those pockets of happiness, if we have faith that they will come again when we are in a dark place, we can face anything and everything.

I have been in a very deep dark place for a long time and lost faith in my ability to ever experience those pockets of happiness again, but they did return. When I least expected it. And my dog Cheyenne and cat Toendra have been there for me along the way.

So, what is happiness for you? Is it the moments you share with your animals? Or your loved ones? I would love to hear, so feel free to comment.

Much love and light and pockets of happiness

Diana

Me and my sister in my happy place, the Efteling (I am the one on the left)